Appreciation is without a doubt, the most powerful way to enlist the help of others. Appreciation that happens after a good deed, is nice. It also is a smart response. But powerful appreciation happens before a good deed, and is usually a habit of successful leaders.
Powerful appreciation comes from those who understand the nature of human beings, and the fact that life is a struggle - for everyone. Powerful appreciation happens in small ways, like listening, not judging, recognizing when someone is in need of a kind word, engaging. This kind of powerful appreciation is a develop-able skill. Start with recognizing your capacity to appreciate someone you love, next-try to appreciate someone you are neutral about. Finally, look for something to appreciate in someone you don't really like. If you can do this with sincerity, you are on your way!
Bill True and the guys at Sage presence guided me (in their hugely powerful workshop called B-connected) through this exercise as a way to overcome the pressure of networking. In that case they taught a group of us to overcome the social anxiety of networking by applying a heavy coat of appreciation. This has also helped me with stage fright.
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