What I’ve learned about leadership during my time at Oak Ridge…

• The level of responsibility in the top position was not as scary as I thought.

• Expertise, experience and knowledge are all great. As a leader, they are less meaningful to the organization than showing someone you care about them.

• Not to be hurt when I learn that people I trust vent about me or my decisions to others. And to feel honored when they vent about me – to me.

• People will generally be on their best behavior when I am present. This is why I have to always pay attention to other people’s reality.

• When I got the feeling that someone was not the right person for the job. I was usually right. I learned to do us both a favor and work out a separation plan or a different position that leaves them whole. I have a file of thank you notes from people that have separated this way.

• Humor and a smile show people that (at least at work) the world is OK; this has to be repeated daily. A daily walk around engaging in small talk and laughing with people creates a feeling of well being about the organization as a whole.

• When someone feels misunderstood, they might comply, but they won’t give you their true self. When someone feels understood, the real person shows up.

• When I am going to have a conversation that makes me feel sick to my stomach, I let the hot issue be the first thing out of my mouth, then I let them know that everything will work out somehow, it always does.

• Creating the culture you want has to include hiring and firing for specific behaviors. Behavior based interviewing and auditions where one of the pillars of our culture of serving each other, and our guests.

• Celebration rituals reinforce a feeling of well being, some people will boycott them and some will make fun of them. The majority of people will show up enjoy the camaraderie, and relish in being appreciated by the leaders and their peers.

• Vulnerability is not a weakness like I’ve grown up to believe. It has been a great way to connect with people.

Appreciation

Appreciation is without a doubt, the most powerful way to enlist the help of others. Appreciation that happens after a good deed, is nice. It also is a smart response. But powerful appreciation happens before a good deed, and is usually a habit of successful leaders.



Powerful appreciation comes from those who understand the nature of human beings, and the fact that life is a struggle - for everyone. Powerful appreciation happens in small ways, like listening, not judging, recognizing when someone is in need of a kind word, engaging. This kind of powerful appreciation is a develop-able skill. Start with recognizing your capacity to appreciate someone you love, next-try to appreciate someone you are neutral about. Finally, look for something to appreciate in someone you don't really like. If you can do this with sincerity, you are on your way!







Bill True and the guys at Sage presence guided me (in their hugely powerful workshop called B-connected) through this exercise as a way to overcome the pressure of networking. In that case they taught a group of us to overcome the social anxiety of networking by applying a heavy coat of appreciation. This has also helped me with stage fright.